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When Vice-President Dick Cheney accepted his nomination last night, we more than disappointed; we totally expected him to step down out of shame for his personal style. New York magazine ran his ghastly image by surgeons, trainers, and stylists to see how he could be physically improved and, to no surprise, there's a lot of work to be done. Says a hairstylist from La Boite a Coupe salon:

Such a big, rounded face! In order to not be so rounded, I would have him grow his sideburns not too long, just to the middle of the ear. Also, his white hair with his white skin and white glasses makes him look washed out. I would minimize it with a rinse, but still keep it gray, like, salt and pepper. Just minimize. And the part on the top has to go. Get rid of it! Off! For the cut, I d do close and shorter a very French style.

We're disgusted, frankly, that we live in a country where a man like Cheney, regardless of his fat, pasty face, can be in power. Aren't we more shallow — and better — than that?
Making Over Dick Cheney [NY Mag]