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The Hilton sisters certainly put their skinny, publicity-mongering stamp on the quickly-expiring week. It started with news that Nicky had married some nerd in Vegas, saw the safe return of Paris' prodigal lapdog, and ended with her posters winding up for auction on eBay . As the pre-game drink special at the Short Stop beckons, we officially close "Hilton Week" with a thought by a reader, writing in (fittingly) from Paris:

You saw how Paris Hilton reacted when she realized she had lost her chihuahua. Has anybody informed her she has also lost her virginity? What would be her reaction? Huge posters of her vagina shot from different angles, asking people to call her if they see it? Guess half the city with an internet connection will have to phone her.