A Note on Gossip: Could someone on the NY Post tech team fix the sad broken HTML that has plagued Page Six's ad servers for the past week? It's really heinous. Thanks! Moving on:

· Clearly an inside job: 20K worth of designer merch stolen from van returning items from Conde Nast photo shoots. Wait — they return borrowed clothes now? [NYP]
· Naomi Campbell slapped her maid Millicent Burton. (That's news? I thought the point of having servants is that you can beat them.) The incident, to Campbell's credit, took place after Burton "got in [Campbell's] face and was yelling" at her. That is so, so awesome. Cops were called, complaints were filed, and we're thinking Pay-Per-View rematch. [NYDN]
· The September issue of Harper's Bazaar features an article by Candace Bushnell entitled "Nice Vs. Ice: Acting Friendly Or Frosty?" in which the author clearly dresses as Anna Wintour for the accompanying photographs. Does the pic go with the More-Frigid-Than-A-Meatlocker sidebar? [Page Six]
· Hometown free speech hero and lesbian-stripper-wrestling admirer Howard Stern has been considering a Los Angeles outpost for his production company. Why the trek West? To remake the film that changed our life and yours: Porky's. [Reuters]
· It's no surprise that Paris and Nicky Hilton's LA home was broken into — they frequently left their doors unlocked. God, the jokes just write themselves here. [Page Six]