When editor David Remnick said his New Yorker's circulation numbers certainly hadn't grown because of their Paris Hilton coverage, we all silently nodded in agreement and thought, "Yes, and you're so fired." We did not, however, think to run a spoofed memo from Remnick to his staff — that just seemed a little, you know, obvious. Nevertheless, it's Friday, and we'll print any fucking thing today, so here's Hartford Courant columnist Denis Horgan:

Angell, I say, gimme something on this little hottie and what do I get? Fred Merkle!!! Jeez, can't we please have one fewer pieces from back when the baseball was square and maybe one on Paris' nipples? I'm not asking for the moon, Roger. You want any legs in this game, you gotta keep your eye on the ball and the ball is nipples, nipples, nipples.

Yes, please, I'll have whatever crack Denis is smoking.
Memo From D. Remnick [CTnow]