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If you're afraid that Pamela Anderson's just-released Star: A Novel might not be the literary work that blows the roof off the Playboy mansion, maybe you'll have better luck with Jill Ann: Upstairs, the "expose" by former Playmate Jill Ann Spaulding that promises "explicit details about the sexual secrets of Hefner and his playmates." Watch out, Hugh, one of your pneumatic harem is coming after you, and she's not fucking around with thinly-veiled fiction, she's going straight for the tell-all—and she was probably smart enough to hire a ghostwriter. Selections from the press release after the jump:

A success-driven overachiever Jill Ann dreamed of being a Playboy Playmate from the time she was very young. On her journey she learned first hand about the risque business behind the Playboy phenomenon and the sacrifices necessary to make her dreams come true..."My story is about the realization that the Playboy Mansion isn't Barbie's dream house, but a brokerage house where dangerous sex is traded for stardom."

And if that seems a little too Betty Friedan for you, there's something for the starfuckers as well:

Jill Ann Spaulding discusses personal encounters with celebrities like Britney Spears, Tobey Maguire, Drew Barrymore, Leonardo DiCaprio, Craig Kilborn and Simon Cowell.

We're sure the babbling waters of the Mansion's famous grotto are brown with fear right about now.