Vogue food critic Jeffrey Steingarten has been looking for an assistant — and we've found a great applicant over on Mediabistro!

I'd rather slide down a mountain of razor blades and land in a pool of rubbing alcohol than work for your vile, elitist magazine. I'd rather have diarrhea for 3 days straight than fetch coffee for a food editor with a spatula up his ass, whose outfit costs more than my annual rent. My idea of career satisfaction does not involve living below the poverty line nor being forced into a 2-year contract of servitude.

Attached is my ass, which I'd rather shave than be within 50 feet of Vogue offices.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Signed,

I'll keep my soul, thanks.

Topic: Job Posting, Assistant to Food Editor, Vogue Magazine [Mediabistro]