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A Seattle superfan/probable nymphomaniac stalker posts her subtle, romantic entreaties to a newly-single Jake Gyllenhaal in the Los Angeles Craiglist "Missed Connections." We at Defamer are committed to bringing together easy eager fans and Hollywood's hottest stars. We hope they can make a "connection," in whatever form that takes.

Heeeyyyyyy! I'm writing all the way up in Seattle to let *you* know that *I* am ready to pick up where Kirsten left off! I read that you're single now, and since I've been crushing on you since before you even MET Kirsten, why I think I'm highly qualified to be your rebound! If you'd like a respite from L.A. and all that movie-stuff, you can stay in my apt. here and hang out with me at the market, and get coffee and piroshkies and I even have lots of hats and scarves you can use as a disguise.

You know how frantic Seattle people get over celebrities, we just don't get that much up here. Although I hear Brad & Jen are looking for real estate nearby....Anyway! I'm also ready to fly down to L.A. as soon as you give the word my sexy sexy hunk of 23yr old JakeMeat! Yum! We can just tell the tabloids I'm a famous DJ from Seattle and they'll be all over that shit! But seriously I'm ready to finally give you all my love, I've been waiting so long! I saw you in 'The Day After Tomorrow' which really sucked and made me glad my friend and I brought that tequila....but you DID star in Donnie Darko so I guess I'll let your latest disaster slide. After all, we all have to make a living. Speaking of, you've probably got tons of moolah, so I'm sortof hoping you'll just pretty much pay for everything. We can take vacations to exotic locales! Shopping marathons at the flea market! I know how you like those awesome 'retro' threads! Gasp! Me too!!! I bet Maggie and I would be the best of buds! I can help her with her style, let her know that!!! Well Jake, you know how to email me so hopefully one of your cool non-movie star friends is a CL junkie and will clue you in as I'm sure you are much too busy reading new scripts to surf CL yourself. I'm all ready to live in your lap...of luxury. You are a bit younger than me but I'm sure that Kirsten breaking up with you had Nothing to do with you being At All immature. I bet she just didn't feel good enough for you. Well baby, guess what? I am. And the sex with me will be better too!