New York Times political reporters bound for Boston this weekend will be thrilled to find out that "escape hoods" — half gas mask, half beekeeper's hat — aren't mandatory for their Democratic Convention coverage. (So ungainly! What would Styles reporter Guy Trebay say?) Still, according to an internal memo, they'll be training the NYT staff on how to use them in case of an emergency.

Training? Hmm, we're thinking: drop your cute little notepad and pen, plunk that shit on your head, and get your ass out of the place with the burning and the screaming faster than anyone else. Also, leave children behind, they slow you down.
NYT Asks Writers to Be Prepared [Wonkette]