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When Joan Rivers bolted E! for piles of TV Guide Channel cash to stuff in the money belt she'd had surgically installed during her last tummy-tuck, it seems she forgot that E! has exclusive live broadcast rights to the Emmys' red carpet. What are Joan and daughter/fellow pre-show fashion-slamming monkey Melissa going to do? Maybe they can parachute in and distract E!'s camera crew by bombing the red carpet area with their sassy QVC jewelry? It's either that or die in obscurity above the TV Guide Channel's scrolling programming grid as their plastic surgeons slowly go bankrupt.