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Blogger So Says I sends us this dispatch from Andy Dick's belated, aggressively C-list premiere party for his new show, The Assistant. The report once again confirms the history-tested Hollywood maxim: No one more famous than the host will dare show up to a party. Especially one where there's the looming, gender-blind fear that Andy Dick's tongue might find its way into your mouth.

Ah assistants… they are the nobodies that really run Hollywood. Second bananas to some of the most powerful people in the entertainment industry—fetching coffee and arranging bar mitzvahs for superior's offspring. We went to the Andy Dick party last night at Bliss to celebrate those nobodies and Andy's new show, The Assistant.

We arrived only an hour late, which is the only acceptable time to arrive in Hollywood, only to be warned by a midget sitting in a life guard chair on the red carpet that we only had 5 minutes before the open bar closed. So we rushed in, but not before we marveled at the star power that is Andy Dick, who brought in heavyweight celebrities such as Kato Kaelin, Rodney Bingenheimer, Trishelle from Real World Las Vegas and Melissa from Real World New Orleans, Deion Sanders, and Joe Francis, the chivalrous gentleman behind Girls Gone Wild. And let's not forgot the hoards of aspiring actors (what was up with the guy in the headband?) and actresses (those things eventually are going to cost you a fortune in back surgery) who clung to these C-listers as if their big break into sorta-fame was imminent just by being near them. Did we mention Kato Kaelin was there and that chicks actually talk to him? Probably the most notable people in the crowd were the doppelgangers, who garnered just as much attention for looking like someone famous, as those who actually on the C-list did. Our favorite doppelganger was the Skeet Ulrich clone—but let's not confuse him with Johnny Depp's doppelganger, who wouldn't have been caught dead at this event.