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When spam promising graphic sex between celebrities lands in our inbox, we momentarily get excited. Then we take a deep breath and call our lawyer. But then we examine the goods, especially when they begin thusly: "SHOCKING ! SHOCKING ! SHOCKING ! LISA MARIE, JEFF GOLDBLUM AND PINK THIS NEW OUTREAGEOS [sic] SEX VIDEO IS HERE !"

There's little hotter in the illicit celeb-porn world than ALL CAPS and breathless misspellings. Oh, wait, there's this: "After a round of Rock, Paper, Scissor Pink won the chance to have Jeff's meat pole [aggressively situated in a very naughty place]." The e-mail's link rewards your misplaced curiosity with a stay in pop-up laden porn jail, so we're not going to pass it along. And for the record, we should say that we don't think the video actually exists, as much as we're dying to see Pink and Tim Burton's ex-wife engage in a game of RoShamBo for a shot at Brundle-Fly. For more, see this Fleshbot post.