We are now forced to weigh in on a truly dull topic for moment. But the new media shitstorm is all about bloggers — those inverted, home-bound chronic masturbators who put things on the so-called "internet" — getting press-credentialed to attend the upcoming political conventions. The print world has its panties all in a twist over this — jealous much?

This weekend, Alex S. Jones of the LA Times is the latest slow-moving print dinosaur to weigh in on the topic. "[T]emporary press credentials... [don't] turn bloggers into journalists" seems to be his point. It's wrapped up by a lovely strawman argument — "should blogging displace traditional reporting and journalism, as some in the blogosphere predict it will, then the steak will have been swapped for the sizzle." Right. Source that, biznatch.

Guess what: temporary press credentials actually do turn anyone into a journalist. It's easy! Journalism isn't some mystical black magic that my grandmother couldn't do for some extra cash. Like, you talk to people and go to places and you see what's there. Here's three rules that any idiot — even those nasty icky bloggers — can apply to become a journalist:

1. File your story with the correct number of words on or before the assigned deadline. Say thank you.
2. Don't, like, make anything up.
3. When they give you edits, no matter how stupid they are, make them so. Say thank you again.

"Journalists increasingly read blogs to pick up tips," says Alex Jones. Yeah — walk through any Conde Nast or newspaper office, and you'll see the "research" that goes on. How many reporters can read TMFTML at a time, even when he's too drunk to update for days at a time?

Bloggers Are the Sizzle, Not the Steak [LA Times]
Related:
The Next Generation of Journalists Will Start as Bloggers [Ernest Miller]
The byline makes the man? [Buzz Machine]
But Bloggers Aren't Journalists!!! Take 94 [Matt Welch]