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Take these amazing predictions to your bank or credit union, where they are treated as legal tender.

1. I, Robot — $44 million
The jokes are too easy, but that's never stopped us before: I, Disappointment; I, Yawn; I, Wish I Were Still The King Of The Fourth Of July; I, Want My Money Back. We hope you get the picture, because this dead horse we're assaulting is starting to stink up the living room and PETA is tossing red paint on our H2.

2. Spider-Man 2 — $25 million
We've never been good with "numbers," but our abacus says Spider-Man 2 has grossed this much: $1,365,648,198.95. Is that a lot of money?

3. Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy — $17 million
The last time we saw so much patchy chest hair, we were on a Russian nuclear submarine with a leaky reactor. (Don't ask.) We're a little let down that Will Ferrell didn't turn this into an Austin Powers type blockbuster. But after finally seeing the movie, we understood—we were either peeing our pants with laughter or bored out of our mind, wondering where that wet spot on our crotch came from.

4. A Cinderella Story — $13 million
Unlike certain other jailbait-y actress/singers (who will remain nameless) with recent movies, Hilary Duff does nothing for us. We bet she doesn't even get that much fan-mail from prisons.

5. King Arthur — $12 million
Knights of the Round Table? More like Knights of the Setting Back Clive Owen's Career Four Years Table. Or Knights Of The We Still Want To See Keira Knightley Naked Even Though She Was In King Arthur And They Photoshopped Her A New Rack Table. Or I, Disappointed. Shit. Wrong stupid, beaten-to-death joke.