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The Baldwinization Centers of America offer a surgical procedure "which results in the patient's perfect resemblance of the Baldwin brother of their choice" A great idea, if part of their R&D process included the development of a time machine to return their altered clients to the height of the Baldwin clan's power, circa 1993. Who would shell out for a series of invasive surgeries to look like Alec Baldwin's current, doughy character-actor incarnation? Even if you went for the Hunt for Red October Alec, you'd still eventually have to suffer through the pain of unrealized box office potential. And let's be realistic: A recipient of the Stephen procedure couldn't get to the front of the line at the Trader Joe's on La Brea.