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When you wind up with Chris Rock's old cellphone number, life becomes a series of adorable encounters that will make a great story for your children. Unfortunately, the lesser lights of Hollywood sometimes change their numbers without notifying everyone in their address book. A Defamer reader sends us her considerably less magical "adventures" from receiving a cellphone with the number of Roseanne Barr's (Arnold/just plain Roseanne/Barr again, whatever) assistant Becky. (Fun fact: Becky is also the wife of Roseanne's ex-husband, who also is employed by Roseanne. Wrap your mind around that family/business dynamic.)

I switched cell phone companies last December, and about two weeks into my new service and number, I received a call for Becky. I told the person they had the wrong number and that was that. Or so I thought. Ever since, I receive at least one call per week asking for Becky. After the first few times, I wasn't too annoyed, but you would think these people can follow the directions on my voicemail which states: 'Hi...you have reached A——-. Please leave a message...etc.' This is apparently asking too much, because they actually leave messages for Becky.

A few months ago, I received a call and after I answered with the standard 'Hello' the woman on the other line said 'Becky?' I told her that she had the wrong number, and that my name is A——-. She gave the phone to a man who started saying 'Becky? Are you there?' I told him AGAIN, they had the wrong number. After repeating my name, they finally understood and hung up. No "sorry" for calling you AGAIN.

A few days later I got another call. My phone rang and I answered it. A woman on the other line said in a totally bitchy voice 'Who is this?' Not hello, but 'Who is this?' I informed her that she in fact called me and maybe she should tell me who she is. She ignored my question and said 'Well I am looking for my daughter and you definately are NOT her.' I asked her who she was trying to reach and she gave me some snotty retort and hung up. I totally recognized the voice as one of the people who continues to call me looking for Becky. I'm sorry...I just answered my fucking phone when it rang. Maybe she should be snapping at her daughter who is obviously dodging her, rather than being pissy to me.

Finally a few months ago when I got yet ANOTHER call for Becky, I told the guy he had the wrong number, and asked him to delete it from his records and he said 'Well you know, she is Roseanne's assistant.' Funny....I don't remember asking. The same thing happened when I got the bazillionth call for the elusive Becky. The caller felt the need to inform me who she worked for. Maybe, MAYBE if she worked for someone who was a little more...um...interesting...I might care. But I don't.

The only thing I'm asking is for this Becky, whoever she is, please call your mom and give your creditors your REAL phone number, because these
calls interrupt my research at happy hour.

Becky, Defamer begs you on behalf of our reader: Please let everyone know your new number. It's hard enough to get nagged by one's own mother.


UPDATE: A quick follow-up... A source very close to the situation informs us that Becky called to apologize for all the annoying phone calls, and that she was "actually very sweet and cool." Becky also assured our source that she speaks with her mother frequently and was not dodging her calls—just those of paparazzi that frequently harass her by phone. Defamer is always a sucker for a happy ending.