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We learned two things on Friday, after kicking off early to start a marathon of alcohol consumption: 1. Whomever made up that little rhyme about "beer before liquor. etc etc" was an unappreciated genius; 2. Crafty, recently-fired network executives try to slip out on Friday afternoons while you're too drunk to check your e-mail.

A spy (or three) forwarded us outgoing E! CEO/baby shower expense accounter/burlesque review parking lot brawler Mindy Herman's farewell e-mail to the employees that not-so-secretly hated her.

(Previous Herman farewell e-mail here, where she assures us it was entirely her decision to get fired.) Herman sweetly thanks many of E!'s underpaid, underappreciated footsoldiers by name—we think they've suffered enough, so we mercifully redacted them. (N.B. Herman's parting shot at her enemies.)

The regime changes today, but the cat-o-nine tail scars remain. Good luck, Ted. It may take a few months before your new charges stop scurrying away in fear when you flip on the flourescents lights, screeching the theme song from Anna Nicole.

From: Mindy Herman

Sent: Friday, July 09, 2004 10:14 AM

To: E! Company Wide

Subject: Farewell

As you know, today is my last day in the office although I will be
continuing to help in the transition. I wanted to drop everyone a note to
say goodbye and to say thanks. It has truly been a privilege for me to be
part of our company. I have many fond memories from the last four year but
most of all, I take great pride in watching the development of so many of
our employees.

E! is all about giving young people the opportunity to learn and to grow.
Helping to teach and nurture our executive and creative talent has been the
best part of my job. While there are literally hundreds of examples, where
else can someone like XX start as a PA straight from college, work hard
and become a producer. Or, my former assistant, XX, who is now
producing reality series for the broadcast networks. Or watching XX
and XX become key go-to members of our team. Or
seeing XX, XX, XX or XX and XX become seasoned, buttoned down executives that are doing work that SVPs do at other companies. [Ed.note—i.e. Thanks for doing work for which we didn't pay you, saving the company money for my baby showers.] Or marveling at the quietly incredible efforts of people like XX, XX, XX and all of the gang in facilities and shipping. Or seeing Gavin get his shot to run his own network. Or seeing the growth and maturation of so many talented women at our company like XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX and so many others that there isn't room to name them all.

But most importantly, I would like to thank everyone for their support over
the last year as I embarked on single motherhood. I have the great good
fortune of being able to now focus my attention on teaching the most
important person in my life - my son X. I will never forget all of the
other moms and dads here at E! who were so great in sharing X's arrival
with me. Most especially, the other new moms and dads here at E! like
XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX, XX and XX. I look forward to celebrating many of X's birthdays with all of you.

All in all, working here at E! has been a terrific experience and I will
take away nothing but great memories. Thanks to everyone who have been so
supportive, especially over the past six weeks. And to those who may have
wished me ill, I have no hard feelings and hope that you find a fraction of
the peace and happiness that I have found since X was born.

For those of you in LA, we will be having some refreshments out on my
balcony at 4:30 this afternoon if you want to stop over to say farewell.
It's been a fun ride and I wish everyone a great next chapter at E!. Please
give Ted all of the support and effort that you gave me over these last
several years. I've had a blast.