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If you love the box office numbers, set them free. If they come back to you, they are yours; if they don't, consider a high-level executive job at Disney.

1. Spider-Man 2 — $46 million
We'd like to make a filthy joke about Doctor Octopus's lonlier moments and a "quadruple date" with those robot arms, but nothing's really coming to us.

2. Anchorman: The Legend Of Ron Burgundy — $28 million
We're holding back a little in our love affair with Will Ferrell. He's going to hurt us eventually, and one day just hearing his voice will make our testicles retract into the safety of our body cavity. We call that the Mike Myers Effect.

3. King Arthur — $15.2 million
It appears that Disney's inspired photoshopping of Keira Knightley's chest was worth a mere $7.6 million per breast. Maybe if they'd slapped a couple of extra tits on her they'd have a huge hit. (Yes, that is an invitation for the Photoshopping crowd.)

4. Fahrenheit 9/11 — $11 million
Of course, F 9/11 proves that the "more tits" rule of box office success is really a double-edged sword. Michael Moore probably has some serious back problems.

5. The Notebook — $6.53 million
We're committed to our ignorance about The Notebook, and instead point you to this insightful and important trend piece involving Sleepover, which we wish had finished fifth. Fugly is so hott right now.