This image was lost some time after publication.

Something about being saddled with an utterly retarded name seems to make celebrity offspring a little precocious. Infant Apple Martin, the progeny of Gwyneth Paltrow and Coldplay singer Chris Martin is already cruising Friendster in search of online companionship. She's still growing her personal network—right now only Daddy and Madonna are her friendsters (is there something we should know about?), but it can't be long before young Apple's plea is answered and Coco Arquette seeks refuge online from her, like, totally embarrassing parents.