About three of you will remember/care, but last September, some sort of bloody mass of human or animal tissue was discovered at Conde Nast HQ in 4 Times Square. We assumed at the time that it was a chunk of some Vogue editor. (Hey, flayings happen.)

Greg Lindsay, former Women's Wear Daily media reporter, reveals that he actually did some of that "reporting" (ick) to follow up, and is now at liberty to share with the rest of the class:

No one knew if it was human or not, so they sent it for DNA testing. I kept calling the NYPD's forensics people for months, in case it was human, but they kept putting me off, saying that testing was taking longer than usual because the tissue was "badly decayed." (How long could it have been in there, anyway?) Finally, in February, just before I left WWD, I called one last time, and they said it was definitely not human. Conspiracy theorists, take note...

NOT HUMAN? Figures. Leave it to Conde Nast to have first contact with an alien life form and butcher them and steal their technology.