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Not everyone is a "Hollywood Liberal" with a hard-on for forking over their money to Michael Moore. So for the more rightward leaning in our midst, here's how we see the weekend playing out, with an eye on where to spend your conservative box-office dollar.

1. White Chicks — $24 million
Better to support wisecracking black guys toying with traditionally accepted racial and gender norms than know the "truth" behind the Bush family's connections to the Saudi government.

2. Fahrenheit 9/11 — $19 million
Just ignore it and maybe it will all go away, like Reagan's Alzheimer's. There are enough bed-wetting liberals out there to push F 9/11 to number two, but not enough to threaten the movie-going status quo. Direct your energy into locking evil-eyes on the left-wing pansies in the snack bar line, loading up on butter-free popcorn and bottled water.

3. DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story — $17 million
Bible-belt moviegoers can rejoice as Ben Stiller, a Jew, is defeated in this Christian redemption parable.

4. Harry Potter and the Prisoner Of Azkaban — $13 million
Grudgingly funnel your hard-earned CEO dollars to this paean to paganism instead of supporting Moore's crazy love-letter to tinfoil-hatted conspiracy theorists.

5. The Terminal — $12 million
Even in fifth place, Tom Hanks is a uniter, not a divider. His cute turn as an alien trapped in INS limbo is an explicit endorsement of the kind of tough immigration laws this country needs to keep it strong.