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The LAT recaps the Graydon Carter GraydonGate™ non-scandal, with a couple of mentions of future projects the Vanity Fair editor may or may not participate in. But it all starts with The Curiously Symbolic Story of the Oscar-Shaped Shrubbery:

For several years, academy officials overlooked the 18-foot Oscar-shaped topiaries that graced the entrance to Carter's annual awards-night bash at Morton's restaurant in West Hollywood..."We had been turning a blind eye to the shrubbery that materialized each year outside Morton's in late March," the academy wrote, "in the hope that root borers or an incautiously flipped Cohiba [cigar] would eventually save us the awkwardness of raising the issue with you."

Of course, Carter complied with their wishes and trimmed his bush. But not before the gray-maned editor and busty Hollywood engaged in a loud spat with heated I hate you!s volleyed back and forth, and the two fiery lovers finally collapsing into each other's arms for a sweaty romp on the kitchen table.