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Americans, despair: The super-secret government-sponsored David Arquette Sterilization Project has failed. People reports that Arquette and wife Courteney Cox Arquette have given birth to a baby girl named...

...Coco.

Sweet Jesus. Coco Cox Arquette? Every time celebrities choose to reproduce, we hold our breath, hoping that we'll eventually get a Christopher or Michael. One day it will happen. In the meantime, we wish all the best to David, Courteney, and their little girl, and hope that the miracle of in vitro fertilization will soon give Coco a brother named Frankenberry.