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Take refuge from the wall-to-wall mourning in the air conditioned comfort of your local cinemaplex, in exactly the proportions listed below:

1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban — $63 million
Do you know why this movie made a ton in its opening weekend? It's Harry Potter, dummy. Do you know why it should continue to make money? It's actually a great movie. No, we're not on the take from Warner Bros. Here, watch: Fuck Warner Bros. Happy now?

2. The Chronicles of Riddick — $32 million
In the futuristic world of Riddick, no one cares if your action hero seems a little gay to a lot of people.

3. Shrek 2 — $27 million
Two words: Ogre cock. Two more: Ogre cock.

4. The Stepford Wives — $22 million
By the time someone gets up the guts to scream "Fire!" in a crowded movie theater, the Stepford viewers will be sufficiently depressed to stay and let the flames take away the pain.

5. Garfield: The Movie — Honorary Reagan Memorial Box Office Take: $0.00
We think our feelings on the utter disrespect Fox is showing our nation in a time of sorrow are perfectly clear. Your lack of a ticket stub is your protest!