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In this episode, John Malkovich goes monochromatic, Jack Black can't tear himself away from Japanese tourists, Whitney Houston anticipates an autograph hound, Nicole Richie peeved at a Coffee Bean, Pink sans pink, Bob the Bachelor man-hugging, Bob the Bachelor (again)/John Corbett/Bob Mothersbaugh at the Los Feliz Street Fair, and Gedde "Long Duk Dong" Watanabe.

· Saw John Malkovich strolling down Sunset on a bright and sunny afternoon. Malko was looking bone-pale and seemed to be playing on this look by wearing all white—converse high tops, white jean jacket, etc. Very stylish and all for a trip to the Rite Aid. I was tempted to yell out "Malkovich" and throw a beer can, but figured he'd heard that one before.

· i was stopped at a light on rodeo (ro-day-oh) the other day, and i saw a bunch of japanese tourists taking pictures. nothing too out of the ordinary, but as i pulled up closer, i saw that they were all posing with a short, hairy, bearded white guy. sure enough, it was jack black. i saw him happily take a couple of pictures, and then laura kightlinger told him that they were running late, and they had to go. i didn't realize that jack was such an international draw. i guess the power of the d trancends all language barriers.

· Just saw Whitney Houston checking in to the St. Regis hotel in Century City. She was wearing a headscarf and sunglasses, but it was definitely her. When I walked by she turned to look at me, assuming I would be coming over to ask for an autograph. I didn't, of course, and she shrugged and walked away, humming a song to herself.

· Spotted at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf in Beverly Hills: Nicole Richie in a green stretch tube dress with 2 similarly dressed friends complaining about being recognized by a guy parked in a car by himself, "commenting on her." he was parked in front of her table with the window rolled down listening to her.

Pink was at the Mel's Diner on Ventura in Sherman Oaks. Nothing about her was pink, and she was very nice to the waitress who insisted on showing her her tattoo.[Ed. note—What's up with Pink and chain restaurants in the Valley? Did she find a coupon book?]

· Saw "Bob The Bachelor" on the corner of Wilshire and Beverly Drive embracing an industry type man yesterday. He's tall, but on close inspection of his face, have decided that he looks as if he should be on all fours rooting around for truffles with that nose. The two strolled west on Wilshire after embracing.

Spotted Sunday at the the Los Feliz Street Festival's petting zoo (not a lie), Bob the Bachelor again. This probably is only notable for the uncomfortable moment which ensued. My friend and I were loudly discussing c-list celeb sightings and blind items when he and I laughed loudly together about me seeing Bachelor Bob embracing another man in a non-gay way. Friend A's girlfriend's gay screenwriter brother (Friend B) then started in on the "Yeah sure, there are lots of ways for hetero men to embrace in a non-gay way. Mmmmhhhmmm, they're probably just good friends". At this very moment while we were being loud and obnoxious Bob the Bachelor walked up and watched the animals for a while, then he and his big sweaty head moved on. "I think that was a 'thou shalt not talk shit' moment" friend A said as we high-tailed it out of there.

· I was standing around complaining about the lack of celebrity sightings when who should walk past but John Corbett, the eponymous star of My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancee. [Ed.note—Huh?]] He was quasi-incognito, rocking a swell pair of circa 1992 "razor" sunglasses (think Hulk Hogan), and seemed to be showing an older couple (parents?) around town.

Later, we were standing near the petting zoo discussing a week-old Bachelor Bob sighting when who should walk up but B.B. himself, with a very suspect-looking man-buddy in tow. BB was sporting a neo-hipster shirt, and looked thinner than ever. His buddy was wearing too-short shorts, a neatly trimmed George Michael-style beard, and a lame trucker hat (as if there's any other kind). They spent way too long ooh-ing and ah-ing over the worn-out animals in the petting zoo. Some folks might consider this kinda gay. I don't know, but I'm just saying. Lastly, saw Devo drummer Bob Mothersbaugh morosely licking an ice cream cone and looking totally whipped as he took a break from stroller pushing duty.

· Saw Gedde "Long Duk Dong" Watanabe eating some tapas at the new Cobras and Matadors restaurant in Silver Lake. He was wearing a hat over his long hair, and when a companion got up to go to the bathroom, turned to the wall behind his booth and seemingly tried to read the titles of every book in the faux bookcase there (they were all painted red to match the decor). He really got into it, climbing up on the seat to get a good look. Of course, I still haven't soothed the existential despair I suffered after not only recognizing the Sixteen Candles star, but also spying on him in a mirror while he ate albondigas.