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We see this at least ten times a day at the Coffee Bean: A writer gives up his dream of a big Hollywood script sale. Does he do what most of us do, quietly attempting an overdose on over-the-counter back pills, then anonymously calling 911 when they decide it would be easier just to get shit-faced? No, this selfless, failed scribe decides to sell his latest script on eBay, willing to transfer all rights to the lucky buyer so that they too can feel like a failed writer.

There are no bids for "Chase Patrick" as of this post, but that's sure to change for the script that prompted an online reviewer to say, "It reminds me in some way of the Peacemaker, The Jackal and The Bourne Identity." That $500.00 starting price is looking pretty sweet.