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This lovely, if chilly, morning finds the tabloid wars heating up — Daily News gossip-boy Lloyd Grove claims the Post's Page Six has nabbed two of his items, and insinuates that someone on Page Six's staff should get disemployed. This is clearly a retaliatory strike after last week's Page Six item about how lazy and shiftless (or something) Lloyd is, which is in revenge for... something or other. It's very Godfather XIV at this point.

But didn't we learn ANYTHING from the escalating nuclear proliferation of the Cold War? So sad. You can't hug a gossip columnist with nuclear arms, you guys.

Also, we hear Lloyd Grove eats Gentile babies. And we also hear that Page Six is a Satan-loving coven of right-wing operatives. Oh, right, that one was true.