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In this week s long-on-length, short-on-editorial-discrimination edition: Katie Couric, The O.C. s Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson, just one Olsen Twin, David Duchovny, Tina Fey, two Red Hot Chili Peppers, Willem Defoe, Steve Buscemi, Average Joe, Avril Lavigne, David Cross, Yoanna House, David Lee Roth, Moby, Kyan from Queer Eye, James Gandolfini, Parker Posey, two doses of Courtney Love, Robert Verdi, the Proenza Schouler boys, Tori Spelling, Jamie from Rich Girls, Skinny Zellweger, Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky, Cynthia Nixon, Linda Evangelista, Gael Garcia Bernal, Liv Tyler, Karen O, and NBA Commish David Stizzern.

· Recently, I was walking behind who I thought to be some random, stylish twenty-something with sort of awesome legs on Madison Avenue. Only this girl was majorly turning heads, so when I stopped next to her at the cross walk, I saw that it was Katie Couric. She looked great much less haggard than on TV. I think there may be some truth to all of those surgery rumors.

· On Saturday, I spotted a dressed-down Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson in the Men's Department at the 59th Street Bloomingdale's. They look so cute together. She is really tiny and he's much cuter in person.
· At first I mistook her for the middle Hansen brother, but then I realized this pretty, petite girl was actually one of the Olsen twins. I don't know which one (probably because I'm not a tween or a guy between the ages of 15 and 40). I spotted her in Chelsea I m pretty sure she was apartment hunting. [Ed. Note: No, she's set. But we bet she was trying to pick up trannie hookers. Or buy drugs. Or hire a hit man.]
· It was strange to see David Duchovny (aka Fox Mulder) standing around on 9th St in Greenwich Village waiting for his ride to show up, just like the rest of us unwashed masses. Dressed in a brown suede jacket, khakis and sneaks, it looked as if he might be attempting a second career as a Banana Republic model. He s younger looking in person, too.
· I saw Tina Fey last week waiting at the light on the corner of 50th and Broadway. She was wearing jeans, a giant blue sweatshirt and grey New Balances. She looks very different without the glasses; I had to look for the scar to make sure it was her. And yesterday morning I saw next top model Yoanna at the corner of 50th and 7th wearing white pants 3 weeks before Memorial Day the horror!
· Where d the Red Hot Chili Peppers go? One stalker reports: at the John Lurie opening at the Anton Kern gallery, I saw both Anthony Kietis (a bit haggard) and Flea (looking cute as ever). Willem Defoe was also in attendance, as well as Steve Buscemi (creepy and unhealthy as ever). For the record, the stalker claims that Lurie s work is that of an idiot savant.
· An hour into waiting for my walk-in table at Spice Market on Saturday night, in walks Average Joe Adam Mesh, sans Samantha; after much finagling with the hostess she bumps me off the list and gives Adam my table. After giving up at Spice Market, we headed uptown to the Parker Meridian burger joint to score some cheap burgers. Upon arriving, however, we were told that there was a private party going on inside. As I'm arguing with the door person, out walk Colby, Jeff Probst (I guess TV really does make you look bigger) and Rupert from Survivor. The door person ended up giving us some free burgers to eat in the lobby after we told her what had happened.
· I saw Avril Lavigne at Lit on Thursday night making out with some sk8rboi. She was there along with a posse of cute hipster kids and a bodyguard.
· I spotted David Cross yesterday (5/5) at 2A in the East Village, canoodling with various patrons at the bar, and surviving an attack by a sloppy drunk Goth girl who tried buying him a shot of Chambord (he had a beer instead). Later, while late night shopping at the Food Emporium on 49th and 8th Avenue, I saw reigning America's Next Top Model Yoanna studying a box of Entenmanns s cookies, eventually settling on a bottle of water, Us Weekly, and an unidentified aerosol can (it looked like RAID). She was wearing a jean jacket, green sweatpants, and thick black-rimmed Chanel glasses with rhinestone double C's.
· I saw and talked to David Lee Roth outside the Comedy Cellar last Saturday at 3:00 AM. He looks pretty much the same, a little older, and was real, real mellow. We asked him to leave a voice mail for my brother that said "Hi, this is Diamond David Lee Roth and I'm Hot for Teacher" and he did. He was pretty cool.
· I saw Moby and his petite blonde girlfriend at the Shins show at Bowery Ballroom on Sunday night. They came in right before the end of the opening act and waited on line at the downstairs bar to buy drinks. Woo Hoo.
· I was waiting for a table during a very crowded Mother's Day brunch at Jane (W. Houston at the corner of Thompson) when Kyan from Queer Eye walked in with a male companion. The place was totally overrun, but he was seated immediately. He looked really good, more handsome than on TV, and extremely buff. As he walked past us, my friend heard him say to his companion, Let's just go to Balthazar."
· I was at Schillers very late last night (intern s note: were you really??!) and spotted James Gandolfini with a motley crew of hanger-ons. I think he was with a brunette (or was that a blond? Sake + champagne will do that to you). He was soft spoken, and really doesn t have the same presence as on TV. Artsy downtown crowd with him. Most definitely not LA style.
· On Saturday afternoon at Chelsea Flea Markets, I saw Parker Posey. She was wearing tight jeans (I say tight cause my friend was pointing out her bootylicious booty which really isn't big at all, but probably a bit rounder than your average indie movie star god bless her); she's thin and a bit taller than I expected. However, she was wearing VERY high-heeled boots. Her hair looked fabulous jet-black, and all tied up on top of her head. She had that thrown together look perfected to an art form. I think she may have been listening to a Walkman, or more likely an ipod.
· Two Courtney Love sightings by the same stalkette-hater (two more than I would wish on anyone): last Wednesday, CL comes darting out of Whole Foods on 25th and 7th and begins pacing the sidewalk. She crosses the street and approaches Kinko's. She paces back and forth in front of the store for a while, looking around frantically like the freak-ass kook that she is. Finally, she goes in. The only explanation? "They" must be following her. Then, on Friday, at LaGuardia, CL (wearing a long denim skirt with the word "love" embroidered on it is this the equivalent of a three-year olds mother clipping his name and address to his mittens?), coming out of Hudson News, spewing hatred and bile at some sort of middle-aged male handler (Jesus what grade did that guy fail?). Wild eyes. Dilated pupils. Fresh chemical peel. Everything you'd expect except a mike stand and some brother suckling at her nipple in a Wendy's.
· Late Thursday night, I spied Robert Verdi of Full Frontal Fashion/Surprise by Design fame at the Court Street station subway station in Brooklyn. He was schlepping what were surely fashionable must-haves in big, neon colored tote bags.
· Sunday afternoon Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough of Proenza Schouler were loitering on the benches in front of Balthazar with a lady friend. They are both diminutive and lovely. That McCollough boy has the bluest eyes ever.
· Tori Spelling in NoLita on Friday shopping for shoes. She is like a size 0 and has huge breasts. Then on Saturday I saw "Rich Girl" Jamie linking arms with an equally stout English guy walking down 15th and 6th. Can this girl get herself to a gym?
· I saw Renee Zellweger at Haven in Soho. She was making an appointment (for what I don't know). The guy at the desk said she could come back at 5:45 and then asked her for her name. She said "um...Zellweger?" very nicely, to which the dumb dude at the desk literally gasped and said "Oh my god...I'm SO SORRY." With equal sweetness she responded "that's ok!" and then left. Hopefully to find some food. That girl is SKINNY
· As I was running in Central Park a few mornings ago, I passed a tall, lanky man wearing a blue bandana, an army green t-shirt and blue shorts. Alongside him was a tall blonde woman in red shorts and gray tank. I turned my head so that I could see their faces and found that I was staring at Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky. I ran ahead and pulled to the side of the road, pretending to tie my shoelace (so that I could turn around and pass them in the process). When I turned around, I had a full, unobstructed view of both of them. The front of Howard's shirt was drenched with sweat, and Beth looked gorgeous.
· I saw Cynthia Nixon around 87th and Columbus. Her hair is really red and she is really skinny. She looked kinda stressed out.
· On Friday Night, I saw Linda Evangelista and two friends dining at Mare restaurant on 8th ave in Chelsea. She looked stunning! Her hair was dark, she had bangs, and she was wearing sparkly earrings with dark eye makeup. She also had a white coat draped over her shoulders,
· Gael Garcia Bernal, in all of his glory, outside of Cherry Tavern on 6th street on Wednesday night. He's hot. Shorter than I thought, but still really hot. I looked around for Natalie, but she was nowhere in sight.
· I saw Liv Tyler on Sunday afternoon in the West Village, on West 4th near Tartine. She must've been headed to the airport a driver was helping her load some luggage into the trunk of a black car. In the movies I'd always thought she was pretty but sort of odd looking, but in person she really is lovely, even radiant. She was remarkably gracious and unfazed despite the fact that virtually everyone on the street and all the diners at Tartine were flat-out staring at her.
· Karen O was flipping through the same rack as I was on Friday afternoon at Label. I think I overheard her say she liked that store, and ask her v.v. hip friend why they had never been there before. She has a glorious mullet. When she smiled at me I was shocked I expected her to seem, I don't know, sullen, with a single tear falling down her face, but she was happy as a clam.
· I rode the elevator today in Olympic Tower (51st and 5th) with NBA commissioner David Stern. He is short and carries a very beat up looking briefcase-like thing. He seemed happy to be engaged in conversation about, uh, what else basketball. Hey Commish, get a new briefcase! You can certainly afford it!