Rumor: What's-his-face with the fucked up name wasn't posting on Gawker today because he was out looking for a job. As one tipster put it: "Slow postings on Gawker Media sites are the real office equivalent (or so I remember) of wearing the out-of-place suit to work. Please tell me that you are just drunk during the day."

Rumor status: Untrue. They don't let you smoke at those magazine offices! And after all, the only thing Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter and I have in common is our love of smoking at work. And I get to, and he doesn't! Hey hey! We now return to our server-impaired posting.

Oh! But, while I was gone, I heard they gave out some big-deal annual magazine awards or something? I wasn't there. Oh hey — that's something else Graydon and I have in common!