Today's Observer reports that Ariel Kaminer, an editor at Arts & Leisure, has transgressed by writing for Adam Moss at New York mag. Times spokesbot Catherine Mathis says chillingly that "She has been familiarized with our policy." You might imagine that somewhere in a basement on 43rd Street, Kaminer is struggling in very slow motion to free herself from an iron maiden.

The anonymous alcoholic and emotionally unstable blogger TMFTML imagines her rather sci-fi interrogation with a Times editor named "O'Keller" this way:

'You are improving. Intellectually there is very little wrong with you. You might even be able to edit Neil Strauss. It is only emotionally that you have failed to make progress. Tell me, Ariel— and remember, no lies: you know that I am always able to detect a lie — tell me, what are your true feelings towards Gray Lady?'

'I hate her.'

'You hate her. Good. Then the time has come for you to take the last step. You must love Gray Lady. It is not enough to obey her: you must love her.'

He released Ariel with a little push towards the guards.

'Take her to the Escapes desk,' he said.

If You Want a Picture of the Future, Imagine Joyce Wadler Writing Boldface Names... Forever [TMFTML]