· Page Six unmasks Courtney's favorite teat-suckler: one Mr. Kofi Asare. Said Mr. Asare, "All I wanted was some chicken nuggets." (No, seriously.) [NYP]
· Madonna may push her better-selling back catalogue on her tour this year. (You mean the tour we told you about in January and you all doubted me until it was announced this week? Yeah, that one.) [NYDN]
· Page Six publishes a rumored winner of The Apprentice... which we won't print ourselves, because some things on this planet are sacred — like naked pictures of Courtney Love and the final episode of reality shows. [NYP]