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I have heard from a number of men that you would prefer I did not mock Cargo, the new men's shopping magazine. You like the mag's cut-to-the-chase tone, its informative product labelling, its careful skirting (no pun intended) of the minefield of metrosexuality. It makes you want to buy crap, and you love it for that.

Well, you men are pussies. Get over it. It's a fucking shopping magazine to make you prettier and broker. Basically, by living the Cargo lifestyle, all you're doing is riding on the coattails of the fashion-forward gays without actually having to have sex with other men. (In other words, you're running the risk of getting fagbashed without even getting to suck cock.)

Want proof? Please see Lockhart Steele's review of Cargo's subscriber gift, the Cargo bag... if by "bag" you mean "homosexualing accessory." Yes: its magic power is to render its carrier into Carson Kressley. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Review: Cargo (The Messenger Bag) [Lockhart Steele]