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· Remember when Rosie O'Donnell was deep in the closet — back when she'd go crazy on journalists who even wrote about "the rumors"? This week, she married her girlfriend in San Francisco. We can only hope someone tossed rice up Rosie's nose as she was leaving City Hall.
· Ed Reilly, Jayson Blair's publisher's lawyer, has been itching for a chance to sue anybody, anywhere, anytime if he doesn't like the way they look at Jayson's book across the room. His charge today: the New York Times ordered a copy of the Blair book off Amazon and quoted from it, which thereby violated embargo, and thereby infringed Jayson's copyright. What a freakin' idiot. Look out, he'll sue you if you use the fucking book as a coaster for your beer.
· There's a movement afoot to "Dump the Book Babes." If you share that same hatred of perky book-lovin' ladies, you can sign the petition here.

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· Sex and the City: it only ended five days ago, but can you remember a damn thing about it now? It's almost like the nightmare never happened — except there are still thousands of underfed and under-dressed young women dazedly roaming the streets of Manhattan. Their doctors will find soon enough that they exhibit the preliminary symptoms of cirrhosis. Shouldn't we sue Michael Patrick King into building some sort of shelter for these wayward Carrie Bradshaws of yesteryear?
· And finally, one more revelatory excerpt from Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey's book proposal, soon to be a paperback original at a WalMart counter near you:

NICK: That's what it was like when I found out that Jessica was such a huge fan of Top Gun. Now this is a movie that both sexes can enjoy! There's something for everyone. [...] We don't always get through the whole movie, though: as soon as we get to the part where they get down in the elevator, Jess and I suddenly find ourselve sin the mood to get busy ourselves!
JESSICA: Oh, I totally love Top Gun. The first time Nick and I ever kissed, "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin, from the movie's soundtrack, was playing in the background. I always believe that things happen for a reason, so when I told him that I thought it was fate that we kissed right then, during one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite movies, he was like, 'Hey! I love that movie too.'