· "Your sports section is a fucking disgrace to this town and a disgrace to hockey. Fuck you Mr. NY Post Sports Editor. Stop sucking Steinbrenner's cock so soon in the year." [Kill the Bird]
· Nick and Jessica: "Should the mentally retarded have babies?" [Low Culture]
· Saturday Night Live: "Why don't they just change the name from 'SNL' to 'TRL.'" [Whatevs]