A bajillion celebrities and "celebrities" showed up at the grand opening of the Time Warner Center last night at Columbus Circle. Despite the tuxedos and champagne, they all simultaneously realized that they'd been tricked into attending the opening of A TACKY MALL. (I wonder what gave it away? The DMV Express? The Galaga machines? The Orange Julius stand?)

Paper mag's David Hershkovits won't be invited back, lucky for him. He tells the Times: "I ask my wife out for a night on the town and we wind up in a food court."
At New Towers' Opulent Debut, Even the Guards Are All Dolled Up [NYT]