So many of today's media scandals either don't involve celebrities, drugs or hookers, are boringly reported, or have plots so complicated that even Ken Starr would lose interest. We'll try to explain the messy Jack Kelley/USA Today ruckus in semi-plain English so we can all move on to important things.

1. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?
An anonymous note and a staff complaint triggered an investigation into story accuracy: phone records were incorrect, sources and foreign translators were not found, and then Kelley hired someone to pose as one of the translators... who was a totally lame faker.

2. WHAT'S THE SHOCK LEVEL?
Actually really high: Jack Kelly was nominated five times for a Pulitzer and had written for the paper since 1982.

3. WHY DO I CARE?
Not sure you do, unless you're hot for journalistic bad boys. He was a foreign correspondent for USA Today, which means you've probably never read one of his stories, unless you stay in crappy hotels where they make you read the McPaper. In the end, Kelley maintained innocence and resigned. About the stories in questions, USA Today says "the investigation was unable to resolve what had actually occurred."
USA Today Statement on Jack Kelley [USA Today]
USA Today reporter resigns after deception [USA Today]