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In this post-Xmas and New Year's issue: Claire Danes, Joan Allen, Fred Armisen, Jaime Gleicher (with phone cam stalking!), John Turturro, David Hasselhoff, Frankie Muniz, Matt Damon, Harvey Keitel, Bobby Flay and Stephanie March, Richard Kind, Ethan Hawke and Maggie Gyllenhaal, Vincent Gallo, Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon, Carson Daly, The Ugly Stroke, Al Sharpton, Tom Welling, Parker Posey and Ryan Adams' ass, SJP and MB, Kim Cattrall and Mario Catone, the West Wing's John Spencer, and, last but certainly not dimmest, CNN's Bill Hemmer.

· We were at Jesse Peretz's New Year's party. Anyways, we are wasted. it's 2 am. I have already done way too much of everything, babbling incoherently. Anyway: some girl comes up to us and says that she needs to get her coat and I look at her and say DON'T I KNOW YOU FROM SOMEWHERE like 8 times. "WHERE are you from!?" By the last time I screamed this one last time and she ran away, I realized it was Claire Danes. Me=stupid drunk idiot.

· On Tuesday this week, I sat across from Illinois native and Hollywood actress Joan Allen on our flight to LaGuardia from O'Hare in Chicago. American Airlines flight. Coach class. She was seated with a young girl, presumably her daughter. No wedding ring on hot Joan's hand. Joan was reading a script, which I looked over and saw saw was called The Bourne Supremacy. At home I Googled and found it's her current project. But during the flight, she read a book to her daughter before falling asleep as we circled La Guardia. Joan looks great.
· Fred Armisen, the ethnically ambiguous featured player from SNL, outside Kmart in Astor Place this afternoon. Infinitely shorter than you would imagine him, if one were to ever imagine him.
· Jaime Gleicher, seen at Marc Jacobs on Bleeker on Saturday, talking on her cellphone and having a great time. She walks like a pigeon.
· John Turturro and his son (who was in the royal tennenbaums) peering in the window of Two Boots in Park Slope did not enter to enjoy brunch.
· I went to see Little Shop of Horrors last night on Broadway and we saw David Hasselhoff in the theater. He was watching the show with a young girl that we assumed was his daughter. My friends and I couldn't help but think that he would be perfect to play the part of Orin Scrivello (the role Steve Martin played in the movie version)....maybe he was there to see if he was interested in joining the show? Anyways....he looked pretty sharp...dressed in all black....he's so tall in person! People were flocking around him! He was more in Knight Rider mode then Baywatch mode....he stepped outside during intermission and being the stawkers that we are we followed him....we thought we would get a chance to see Kit, but he wasn't there.
· Frankie Muniz and 2 girls exiting 21 Astor Place into a Mercedes SUV. Could he have been looking at a new apartment?
· Matt Damon in park slope brooklyn walking with a couple that had a baby and a toddler. This was pretty neat except that my friend and I geeked out and Matt observes said geeking out while crossing the street. Oh well at least he didn't make a movie called Gigli.
· Saw Harvey Keitel New Years Day night in Tribeca in a giant black Mercedes, no tinted windows. He did not have his sexy ugly thing going on...
· sat 27, laguardia airport, a deserted terminal A. 8pm. i was waiting for a friend to arrive on the last flight of the day, from houston, when a dude in a black peacoat whooshes by, parting the air with his blisteringly smug aura. yep, it was celebrity chef bobby flay, waiting for his g-f to arrive on the same flight. eeeewwwwww! he looks like a frat-boy date rapist in person, despite fact that he pulls some decent tail—g-f is Stephanie March, formerly of Law & Order's SVU. she's purty, and tall as fuck, wearing glasses and looking Massengill-fresh after the 3 hour flight. My friend reports that SM sat in coach, possibly in a middle seat (!?). when she arrived they made a big spectacle of hugging and kissing and greeting each other in unnecessarily loud voices, aware that their celebritude was attracting an audience. famous people are sick.
· saw Richard Kind in front of PetCo Union Square walking north on 12/22. Damn, he blends in. He looked sad...then I looked sad...then I went home and cried myself to sleep.
· This happened two weeks ago, but what the hay. saw ethan hawke and maggie gyllenhaal brunching together 13 december at le gamin in chelsea. they were seated mere feet from the front door, so we waited for a table within earshot of their conversation. (we actually ended up getting their still-warm seats.) this was the surreal part: as they were leaving, we overheard EH soliciting MG's opinion of julia stiles. MG muttered a shruggy non-answer. Both looked a little ragged. EH's dog, however—something like a border collie—was the most adorable, smartest-looking pooch we've seen in quite some time.
· Does Vincent Gallo even count anymore? I saw him today around 1:30 at Schiller's on the lower east side. He was wearing a gray colored old-man-coat with a black derby style hat (over his long greasy hair. Should I even mention the hair, or is that a given?) We only made eye contact for a short second, but I can still feel the scorch. He headed straight for a corner table and when I left he was flanked on both sides by two comely young ladies.
· On the flight back to JFK from the Turks & Caicos in the Caribbean today (Saturday, 12/27), Liv Tyler and her husband Royston Langdon, in first class. Liv is thinner and prettier in person than expected and very cool looking in black high-top Chuck Taylors. Hubby was short and cute. Apparently, one of them golfs; does anyone else find that odd?
· Last Saturday (12/20) at JFK, Carson Daly was in the American Airlines Caribbean islands check-in line (couldn't tell where he was going but it wasn't the Turks & Caicos) with a, hmmm, male friend. When we passed the Admirals Club he was standing right in the front window looking out at the streams of people walking by, perhaps in hope of finding a fan.
· The ugliest member of the Strokes at 7B on Fri night (12/26). I was really drunk. Turned to my friend, pointed at the guy and said, 'Hey, that troll's from the Strokes.' And before you knew it, he had moved to the other side of the bar (not that there was any danger of us wanting to talk to the homunculus). Don't know his name, but it's not Drew's bf, it's not the singer, it's not the bass player. He has curly hair. [Ed. That's the charitable Christmas spirit we all love.]
· This is a bit old: Al Sharpton walking down 5th Ave (between 59th and 58th) with a white guy around 7:15pm on Sat 12/20. He has such nice hair. Restrained myself from saying, 'Hey Al, you're the man!' Lovely hair.
· Tom Welling, the smallville guy, was shopping at paragon sports on sat early afternoon 12/26. he's (big surprise) really good looking. and very, very tall. Didn't realize it was him at first. At first, I thought he was some tortured gay teen (he looks really burdened in a closeted-gay way), but then I realized he must be just be annoyed at all the people staring. Cause everyone was.
· Yesterday, spotted Ryan Adams and Parker Posey, looking disgustingly in love, walking down Bway and making a right down 13th. He dropped something and bent over, he's got a hot ass. She looked hungover.
· Passing by the Grand Sichuan International in Chelsea on Saturday night, my eyes were caught by a flagrantly red dress inhabited by Sarah Jessica Parker who was having an animated conversation with her T-shirt clad husband, Matthew Broderick. They seemed very casual and were sitting practically in the window. No sign of their kid. I wanted to know what they were eating, but not wanting to, well, gawk, I left my curiosity unsatisfied.
· Saw Kim Cattrall and Mario Cantone climbing the stairs from the Lower Level at Barney's. I don't know if they were there for pleasure or for business, since the four SatC ladies are the holiday windows this year, but they didn't seem to be in any official capacity. Kim C. looked totally stunning - more so in person than on the telly.
· On X-mas eve at about 7:30pm saw "The West Wing" Emmy winner John Spencer at La Vela (Italian rest. on the Upper West). He was menu shopping like we were—moving from one place to the next until you breakdown and finally say enough, let's just eat here already. Both him and the younger guy he was eating with walked outside for a smoke every 15 minutes or so and then returned to their table for another course. No sign of booze on Leo McGarry's table.
· Bill Hemmer with an attractive male friend enjoying a glass of wine at Jefferson in the West Village.