· Michael Jackson allegations were already investigated and called "unfounded," according to a memo obtained by The Smoking Gun. Interviews with the boy's family showed there was not an inappropriate relationship with "The Entertainer." [The Smoking Gun]
· The Post gives confirmation that Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin were formally married last Friday. Well, that was anticlimactic. In related news, my cousin Shirley got secretly married when she got knocked up too. [NY Post]
· Former cheerleader Melana, the "glycerine-eyed" star of the reality dating show "Average Joe," chose to take pretty boy Jason to the prom instead of nerdy Adam. The Times says it is an affirmation that looks matter, but there is a moral: "Melana did not choose money over looks. She just chose looks. Or as she put it, 'He's not only gorgeous, he's very sincere.'" [NY Times[
· Paris Hilton could snag $3 million for a new reality show, likely on Fox. Pal Nicole Richie could not be reached in her shooting gallery for comment. Fox, meanwhile, has compiled a "bonus" episode of bloopers for Dec. 17. Praise God. [NY Post]
· The Hilton clan is proud of Paris' performance on Saturday Night Live. US Weekly editor Janice Min, who hopes to do lunch with Paris today, chimes in, "The last thing she needed was for people to think she was ashamed and she had something to hide." Yes, that's the last thing Paris needed. [NY Daily News]
· President George and Laura Bush grant Diane Sawyer an exclusive interview following her impressive interview of Britney Spears. Laura breaks down over her past with Justin Timberlake. [The Scoop]
· Mayor Bloomberg auditions for a cameo on "Will & Grace" by making jokes at a gay gala. (Hello, I mean: gayla.) [NY Daily News]