· Rosie O'Donnell donates $25,000 for a "Fab Five Room" in the Harvey Milk High School. Heralded as the gayest act of philanthropy, a few hundred dirty straights will be paid to lie around and be aesthetically improved into what we like to call "tardosexuals": people so insecure that they need a gang of homos to tell them how to act and dress. [NY Post]
· Paris Hilton would leave her post-sex tape cocoon for Leonardo DiCaprio. Or wait: make that SNL's Jimmy Fallon. ("Do they allow double occupancy at the Paris Hilton?" asks Jimmy.) [NY Post] [FallonFey.com]
· Eminem is already being investigated by the Secret Service because of his (unreleased) song that mentions a dead president. Related: Child Protective Services is looking at Britney Spears's "Hit Me Baby One More Time." (Oh, c'mon, that's an old joke but it's funny. Get it? Because they're just songs, and... ack, never mind.) [Drudge]