· Paris Hilton will reportedly make a surprise appearance on Saturday Night Live, this week hosted by Rev. Al Sharpton with musical guest Pink. (Item near end). [NY Daily News]

· "I'd rather see the President dead:" Eminem, who has already metaphorically killed women, gays, and the recording industry via the insidious power of this "rap music" that the kids listen to, aims at the president in a new "shock song." [Drudge]

· Couldn't you just die thinking about the Grammys? I mean, just absolutely pass out with boredom? Young artists flood Grammy nominations, with Beyonce, Coldplay, Eminem, Justin Timberlake, Missy Elliott, OutKast, and The White Stripes up for top awards. Coldplay's Chris Martin is already prepping to thank Gwyneth Paltrow for bearing little Damian. (Yah, that's my current pick for their baby name. Has that nice Satanic ring.) [NY Daily News]

· The Simple Life will spawn. "I'm sure executives at the other networks are hearing pitches from producers saying, "I can get Cher into a nunnery,'" said a Fox executive. "You're going to see a lot of shows with celebrities put into weird situations." Next season we're most looking forward to seeing Courtney Love's Daycare! [NY Daily News]

· Tina Brown, now with only a soon-to-be weekly television show and a weekly column, raises above the bad news to announce: "The good news is, now at least I have time to shop." That's right, Tina. Keep the focus, baby. [NY Post]

· Michael Jackson is looking to sell Fox a television special that includes celebrity testimonials. Sure to air between The Simple Life and The O.C. [Fox 411]

· Rumor now is that Gwyneth may already be married to Chris Martin. [NY Post]

· New York Times publishes an obituary for a living person; pre-sales of Jayson Blair's book gain. [NY Daily News]