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It was revealed today that celebutante Paris Hilton flew back Tuesday to New York for Thanksgiving — and that she flew back on United, coach.

The mind boggles. Coach! Given the amount they fly, a Citation Excel would probably only cost the Hilton sisters around $1100.00 per flight hour in fuel, maintenance, and crew. You can pick up a barely used Excel for about 7 and a half million bucks. What's she waiting for?

But can you imagine Paris and her sister Nicky with their own plane? Paris is all "We're going to Vail! I wanna get high and nightski!" and Nicky's all like "Turn this plane around, bitch, oh my god, my boyfriend's in a water polo game in Easthampton tomorrow," and Paris is all "Fuck you, Debbie!" and then Nicky snatches Paris's wig and throws it in the pilot's face. Thus blinded, the poor pilot sends the plane spiralling down into the warm welcoming earth, the Hiltons' silicone bits floating in zero-G as if they were two lithe blonde — and doomed — cosmonauts.

There was other gossip today but who cares? Paris Hilton flew coach.
Just No Restraining Paris [NY Post]