· Former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger's dog Abigail tripped and nearly killed his wife last weekend. Dogs, like children, learn from their environments: this is surely Abigail's warmup for a global campaign of mass murder. [NY Daily News]
· The media hobnobbing at Michael's is absolutely out of control. Don't these people ever work through lunch like the rest of us? Due to total press saturation, yesterday's lunch crowd at Michael's merits its very own NY Post item; New York's Michael Wolff and CNN's Margaret Carlson prepping for their panel at the Foreign Press Center, Tina Brown and Radar's Maer Roshan having girltalk, and Ellen Levine, who the Post seems to (incorrectly) think has left Good Housekeeping for Ladies' Home Journal. [NYPost]
· "Another tragic heroine in the news, Maria Shriver, is starting to resemble a Georgia O'Keeffe cow skull, and I say that with deep concern. Has marriage to such an exacting Terminazi (who survived all the last-minute slimings mainly because they made Gray Davis look even worse) caused her to starve, not only for attention but for actual food?" [Michael Musto]