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Some people are so rude. I've been calling this person's changed number for days, and I've never gotten a call back. The outgoing message isn't even interesting: a strangely gender-neutral voice says, "Hi, you've reached my new number, please leave your message." Note to Williamsburg stoners: if you put posters up all over New York City inviting people to call you, please do something fucking interesting.

There's a far more informative and helpful way to change your number. Take imprisoned ImClone founder and Martha Stewart pal Dr. Sam Waksal, for instance. At Sam's house, the message on his home number — (212) 777-3379 — says this is "what was voicemail for Dr. Sam Waksal." Personal calls are directed to Sam's daughter Elana. Press is directed to Howard Rubenstein, PR. As for the rest of us: "These messages will no longer be checked." So true. The woman leaving the message is clear and helpful, and we appreciate her attention to detail and courtesy.