· Professional Queer Kyan Douglas loses his shit at the grand opening of a clothing store, screaming "Get the fucking press out of here!" after the media invaded the VIP area. He should be careful; if he's not photographed often enough, he won't exist. [NY Mag]
· Raelians agree to clone Rodney Dangerfield for free. Call Janet Reno: it's time for another Waco, stat! [NY Post]