This week's mail was wildly entertaining. You people are really troubled. Some selected tidbits:

· This week's Gawkbox winner — Gawker Ended My Relationship:
"I'm the girl that wrote in last week about seeing Dave from Paradise Hotel and Eric Nies on the street. You recommended i break up with my boyfriend — i just wanted to let you know that i did — less than one week later. And i'm much happier. Thanks for the love advice... He just couldn't appreciate my enthusiasm over a Dave sighting at all, nor my need to get on the phone with my gals right afterwards to discuss it... Ienjoyed my brief fling with arm candy, definitely. It was the first time in my life I really understood the notion of 'trophy wives.' There really is nothing like walking down the street with a beautiful man on your arm." [Ed. Rock!]
· On Boston:
"Your little insults about Boston are only making me miss the place, as horrible as it can be. Every remark about crummy beer and wicked bad accents only reinforce how goddamned charming Massholes can really be. Wouldn't you find it refreshing to let go of the New York pretentious bullshit even for one tiny little minute?" [Ed. Uh, no. 'Refreshing' is a shot of tequila or a nice cold Massengill.]
· On Celebrity:
"i wanted to ask if you know if orlando bloom is still in NYC at this moment.... when did u see him?? wat was he doin?? IM IN LOVE HIM HIM hes and amazing actor and im soooo jealous you saw him... maybe i could too since i live in NYC."
· On Daily News Gossip Columnist Lloyd Grove:
"Point Six: Gossip should not be reported by Clay Aiken's homely older brother." [Ed. I would never stoop that low. Our readers totally will.]
· On Whoring Yourself on the Internet:
"What kind of world do we live in where frenching a 67 year old woman (a senior citizen, for God's sake) for a piece of steak isn't gossip-worthy? okay, okay - or at least 'looking at this picture is like trying to look at the sun i can't believe that happened' linkworthy? c'mon now, it's even interracial and intergenerational!" [Ed. Fine. You win, granny-frenching whore.]
· On Consumerism and Feminism:
"i dont care much about who dishes better tips, daily candy or MUG (skin products and watch repair? both, yawn) but have you seen the daily candy chick on channel 2's weekly DC segment?? scroll down to 'what's naughty, trashy and trendy...' for the video. she's fuckin smokin. my guess is that she is "naughty, trashy, and trendy" as well. i'm gonna watch it again."
· On Conde Nast and Integrity:
"I just happened to be on the conde nast website for work purposes...seriously. but much to my delight, the theorhetically unhappy excursion led me to this little blurb. And the fit of hysterics that followed: '...Cond Nast Publications is committed to journalistic integrity, influential reporting and superior design. Each magazine features world-renowned editors, writers and photographers an incredible stable of talent unmatched by any other publishing company. They demand excellence. They put a premium on truth. They refuse to compromise.' Is it just me, or is this amusing?'"
· Finally, The Trouble with Nuts:
"I was recommended the website gawker.com by a friend to ask about places to go or see in New York. My name is Sarah. I'll be spending a weekend in New York (more specifically Manhatten [sic]) sometime in November with some friends from school. The problem is that I am severly allergic to shellfish, and moderately allergic to nuts. Could you recommend me some places to eat that would have very little or none of these things? The hotel that I'll be staying at doesn't have a kitchen either. Preferably some cheap place, where young people would go (i'm 19). The nut allergy is pretty okay, I can eat traces, just as long as I don't consume entire nuts. As for the shellfish, I can't even smell them otherwise I could get a bad reaction. If I'm e-mailing the wrong place then sorry! Thanks for your time!"

Wow. In closing, I'd just like to say that I can eat traces too, just as long as I don't consume entire nuts either. Thanks for all the mail this week. Best of luck on your new medications.