I'd planned on doing a pretty serious hatchetjob on the Village Voice's Best of New York 2003 issue. The issue has its ups and downs but mostly it just made me want to nap.

I just can't care. I can't stop thinking about Maria Shriver. I mean, has she eaten since this whole Governor's race started? And what about their sex life? Has it suffered for the state of California? And how do they do it anyway? That can't be pleasant, either for us visually or for them sexually. Little twig woman and the beast. It's not hot.

So really, just have a carb or two, Maria — he can benchpress six of you anyway, don't worry about it. Loosen up, lil' First Lady.
Best of 2003 [Village Voice]