Trends are so confusing. I've invented a four-part guide to what's acceptable and unacceptable in Manhattan today. Obey me. Also, you're so welcome.

N.O.Y. (Not Over Yet)
 Tiger-mauling jokes
Erykah Badu
Funny homemade T-shirts (not storebought ironic T-shirts)
The Kicker
Budget Living magazine

P.D.O. (Prematurely Declared Over)
 Page Six: it's back and it's pissed off
Electroclash: Peaches gives 2002 a fresh makeover
House and Garden Magazine
John Ritter jokes
Chuck Palahniuk: maybe there's more Fight Club in him

A.C.O. (Absolutely Completely Over)
 Beige, Tuesdays at Bowery Bar
Racist ironic humor
Meme First
Weblogs in general
Metrocards

R.F.O. (Returning from Over)
 Friendster
New York Magazine — maybe
The Red Sox
Rufus Wainwright
Vanity Fair

You do know that next week I'm just going to shuffle these, right?