This will be the first and probably last time football is ever mentioned here, but stick with me: it's important. It's important because it involves Paris Hilton and the way she breaks one heart right after the next.

A reader writes: "As if infiltrating the worlds of fashion, television, and dirty drunk sex weren't enough, last night, the Hiltons took over sports. On Monday Night Football, the camera panned to Bears' linebacker Brian Urlacher's luxury suite in the new Chicago stadium, and there was Paris Hilton in an oversize Urlacher jersey, sitting and watching the game. Al Michaels then relayed the story that last week in Vegas, Paris's shoe broke, so Urlacher, who had never met her, gave her a piggy-back ride accross the hotel lobby. Since then, they've had a "developing friendship," but are really tired of the media running with the story. Urlacher flew her out to the game (because she probably couldn't afford it), but there really is nothing to it, Paris assures us."
Urlacher tries to forget Paris [BearReport.com]