"Yup, yup, on the record, Gawker editor Elizabeth Spiers is on vacation this week. Choire "Cory" Sicha will be guest-editing, yet again. Yeah, I know. No, he really is a total dick. That's no act.

Off the record? You... No, seriously, Elizabeth collapsed from 'dehydration.' I know, I know, I've heard the stories too. No, no...wait, coke? She... people say she has our interns do what? Like Stevie Nicks? God I hope not. I totally eat lunch off those interns."