Brit socialites-in-New York Lucy Sykes and Euan Rellie explain to the Marie Claire staff (her employers) their rationale for giving their newly arrived son a name that may make him a target for gratuitous violence on the average American playground:

To: NYC_MCE-Staff
cc:
Subject: HEATHCLIFF FELIX ALASTAIR EUAN RELLIE

Heathcliff Felix Alastair Euan Rellie was born on his due date, 31st July 2003, weighing 8 lbs 8 oz. Lucy dealt with the whole process so smoothly that she was described by the obstetrician and nurses as "a model patient, one of the best first-time mothers we can remember", somewhat to the surprise of her husband, and greatly to the surprise of Lucy herself. She needed only five hours of fairly light labour, and then 40 minutes of pushing. She displayed a clear natural aptitude for the task of giving birth.

We had been planning to call our child, if he turned out to be a boy, Felix. When he appeared, however, he looked far too wild to be a "Felix". He is generally considered to have my olive skin and dark eyes and, for some reason, his Aunt Plum's nose. He was not a pretty boy when he was born. I was expecting a gentle creature with fine, delicate features. Instead we've got a rapscallion, a scallywag, or a rogue. His looks are improving fast, but he looks most like a highwayman, or maybe a pirate. Certainly a "Heathcliff". His mother and father have already given him the nickname "Bruiser"; he looked as though he had been through a few rounds when he appeared. He has had a decidedly naughty glint in his eye since the moment that he was born. I was alarmingly close to the birth (standing at Lucy's feet), and in keeping with the latest fashion, I "cut the cord" but, again contrary to expectation, felt neither queasy nor faint at any point. Its been a fabulous experience and we're thrilled and proud and, all three of us, very much in love.

Lucy began contractions in a noisy restaurant called Pastis, where various friends asked "where are you going to have the baby"? "Maybe here", she said, before strolling calmly down the road, to St Vincent's hospital. His Grannsy Sykes is helping us to look after him; she seems to have had a fair amount of practice. His Grandpa and Granny Rellie aren't sure whether they can wait until their planned arrival in New York in twelve days time. Meanwhile we're surrounded by the usual plethora of Sykeses. I can still never quite believe how many there are - and how they always appear to be everywhere, all together, at once.

I can't resist the mistake of sending you too many photos, attached. I have sent small thumbnail ones - let me know if you want higher resolution email versions of any - but those ones take up a lot of memory.

With love from us all,

Euan, Lucy - and Heathcliff