"Done in pen, again: more poems by New York Times puzzle editor Will Shortz,"
courtesy of McSweeney's.
When an insult demands I seek vengeance
Or I'm pushed into venting my spleen,
I hand down a punitive sentence
On my page in the Times Magazine...

To the street punks who dared to accost me,
To a boss who once gave me the sack,
To the Times editors who have crossed me,
I'm 5-Across-ing you back!
What two wrongs can do [McSweeney's]